Human behavior is being affected by the information that people perceived and the beliefs they established. Data and knowledge empower humans. Thus, as Manson’s Law of Avoidance explained people will avoid something that will threaten their identity.
Nowadays, people can easily feed themselves with the information they needed. However, with much certainty about something will lead you to become uncertain and insecure. In the book of Mark Manson which was entitled, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark cited that people have unshakable certainty in their ability.
He also pointed out that the more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel in knowing what you don’t know. It is also in the feeling of uncertainty that humans long for growth because a person who knows everything learns nothing.
Moreover, Manson’s Law of Avoidance emphasized that the feeling of certainty has a good and bad side. Good, because you are being affirmed. When you get your dream job, it reminds you that you are hardworking. On the other hand, you do not want to decline your friend’s invitation despite the things you need to do for your presentation because it will conflict your identity as a loyal person.
“We all have the values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and maintain them. Even if we don’t mean to, that’s how our brain is being wired,” Mark Manson stated.
Human as we are, we have biases of what we already know. Keep in mind that it is fine to look for yourself but never know who you are. When you accept that you are wrong or you do not know about something, you let yourself strive and discover things. Most importantly, it allows you to keep your feet on the ground.
The more information and data people obtain, the better. Today’s Information Age, wherein the things you need to know are easily acquired such as asking some help from Google or Youtube, enable people to learn and understand more. However, too much of information has disadvantages that most people are not aware of.
With too much information, your brain could not filter these contents critically. People tend to act based on their feelings over the facts.
“When we’re focused on irrelevant information, it literally displaces our ability to reason,”Douglas Van Praet said.
Accordingly, Simon Sinek, an author of Start With Why, explained how people get to be mislead by their assumptions based on their perceived truths.
As cited in the chapter review, Simon Sinek explained an American executive went to see a Japanese car assembly line. At the end of the time, the doors were put on the hinges, the same as in the America. But one step was missing in Japan. In America, workers would take rubber mallets and tap the edges of the door to ensure that it fit perfectly. The Japanese, however, didn’t examine the problem and accumulate date to figure out the best solution – they engineered the outcome they wanted from the beginning. If they didn’t achieve their desired outcome, they understood it was because of a decision they made at the start of the process. What the American automakers did with their rubber mallets is a metaphor for how many people and organizations lead.
The Japanese said, “We make sure it fits when we design it.” There are those who decide to manipulate the door to fit to achieve the desired result and there are those who start from somewhere very different. Though both courses of action may yield similar short-term results, it is what we can’t see that makes long-term success more predictable for only one. The one that understood why the doors need to fit by design and not by default.
The false understanding of information may affect the decisions and assumptions of people. That’s why it is important that people should know how to use information.
If you’re asking why false ideas are rampants, well, people constantly discussed these type of idea. Thus, more people assume that it is relevant.
“Silence is death for any idea. An idea that is never spoken or written down dies with the person who conceived it. Ideas can only be remembered when they are repeated. They can only be believed when they are repeated,” James Clear stated.
Further, in order to kill false ideas, share the good ones.
It is in the hardest moments that we learn effectively. Rejection is one of the struggles we face in life. But through this type of obstacle, we became stronger and better.
According to Mark Manson, one must suffer emotional pain to develop greater emotional resilience, a stronger sense of self, increased compassion, and a generally happy life.
If you have been rejected, do not be afraid to admit that you were hurt. It’s normal to get hurt. Pain is part of the process of growing. After accepting that you’been rejected, pick up yourself and learn to redirect.
Rejection does not only reminds us that we are human, but it also teaches us patience. You may not get what you want immediately. Bear in mind that the key to achieve your goals on life is to become persistent. Through this, you can explore other paths which more opportunities await.
Interestingly, some people treat rejection as a milestone for their success.
“Sometimes rejection is life’s way of telling us we need to look at a different path to get where we want to be. Maybe the path we’re trying to take to get to our goals is all wrong for us, or maybe there’s a better way and we just haven’t realized it yet,” J.S Wayne said in his article.
There was a young unfortunate immigrant boy from China who lived to settle in the Philippines. He worked from morning to evening to sustain his family’s needs. He enrolled his self to get a college degree. Moreover, he thrives selling overrun shoes. In his journey, he experienced setbacks and rejections. This man who learned so much from his misfortune is one of the richest men in the Philippines. He is known as Henry Sy.
There were rumors that one medical known brand in the Philippines turned down his offer when he asked for space to sell his shoes. When he became successful, he didn’t bother to include the medical store in his malls.
After all, it is in his worst times that he gained the courage to work harder in life.
Rejection enables us to reassure the principles and decisions we have in life. It helps us to be reminded of why we are pursuing this work or why do we choose this path.
A popular author of 10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades, Thomas Frank, introduced the three types of progress as you try to build habits and skills.
According to him, these types of progress mainly give you a satisfaction on different time scales.
Gear Acquisition
Gear acquisition gives you a satisfaction right away. If you want to learn to play any instrument, obtaining one will give you a satisfaction.
Learning
Learning, on the other, gives you a satisfaction right after you have spent time teaching yourself the basic of how to play the instrument. Gratification might take longer than gear acquisition because you need to understand a technique or undergo a course.
Deliberate practice
Thomas Frank explained that deliberate practice has the most rewards yet it entails more work to be invested. Plus, it has the slowest gain relative to the types of progress.
This is the type of progress where you need to acquire the same gratification with the gear acquisition and learning. Even more, in this progress, people might fall to gear acquisition syndrome while trying to master a skill. This syndrome refers to your behavior of purchasing various skills that you thought might help you to better in mastering your skills. Example, if you want to learn a piano, you buy the best cords, amplifier, and other gears to make you feel that you are doing good in playing a piano relative to practicing the techniques you have learned.
“Deliberate practice refers to a special type of practice that is purposeful and systematic. While regular practice might include mindless repetitions, deliberate practice requires focused attention and is conducted with the specific goal of improving performance,” James Clear, an author of Atomic Habits, stated.
Importance of Progress
These are the three types of progress you should know when you are aiming to build new habits and skills. Keep in mind that constant practice makes progress. Be committed on the system you have built in order to obtain the goal and seek for improvement after achieving it.
Communicating with kids nowadays is quite challenging. Telling them sweet phrases is one of the solutions to strengthen your relationship. Hearing these from their parents positively affects on how they perceive life. The words that you shouldn’t tell your kids are important as the sweet phrases you should always tell your them. Making positive interactions with your kids encourages them to communicate with you. With the help of this article, you will be guided on the sweet statements that you should habitually say to your children. Keep in mind that these heartfelt words provide comfort that the child needed the most.
Everyday, it is essential to remind your children that you love them unconditionally and you show how much you want to support them. By showing your appreciation, can build up their self-worth. Here are some phrases that you can always tell them.
1. I love you
2. I’m grateful for you
3. I believe in you
4. You make me proud
5. You do not have to be perfect, just give your best
6. You truly make me happy
7. I can’t wait to hear about your news
8. Don’t be afraid to be you
9. Seeing you happy makes me happy
10. I want to spend time with you
11. Your ideas are interesting
Using encouraging words to your children shows that you believe in them. By using these sweet phrases, they will be resilient in conquering the challenging moments of their lives. These are the statements you need to say to empower them when they are upset or they need comforting words:
12. I know you did your best and that what matters most, you can try again next time
13. Sorry about that, everything will be alright in time
14. We all make mistakes and that’s fine
15. Not everyone will like you but that’s okay
16. Every mistake is a lesson
17. I’m sad to hear that, how can I help you?
18. I’m always here for you
19. I understand you
20. You are always worth it
Embracing to Say Sweet Phrases
Now that you have discovered the sweet phrases that you should tell your kids, do not hesitate to utter these statements. As you habitually say these to your children, you do not only build positive feelings towards them but making them enthusiastic and optimistic people. These words influence them to be motivated in life.
The benefits of reading have attributed to the success of people. The globally known CEOs have adopted reading as one of their habits. If you don’t like reading, you have missed a lot of things. Here are great reasons why you should read daily.
Stimulates brain
Like any part of the body, in order to function well, it needs to be activated and engaged. Reading stimulates the brain which can reduce the risk of having Alzheimer’s and Dementia.
Improves focus and concentration
If you are having difficulty in focusing, try reading a book. Reading a book enables you to neglect other things and hooks you to the story for a better understanding. Try reading 15-20 minutes every morning before working, you will be surprised by how you can concentrate on your work.
Reduce stress
Reading is a way to escape reality. Losing yourself in the story is the best way of relaxation. A great story will help you forget all the stress you absorb from work, toxic relationships, and the struggles you have been facing.
Improves knowledge
As they said, knowledge is power. For youth to engage in social issues, it is important to establish a place to learn. A community where people can read other books. Moreover, a commonplace for learning promotes inclusive growth for people to educate. The more knowledge you have attain from reading will help you to be well-equipped to reason out and even convey significant information to others.
Improves vocabulary
One of the exceptional benefits of reading is widening your vocabulary. The more you expose yourself in different words, the more you will understand them. With broad vocabulary, you will be able to articulate well when communicating with others.
Increase memory retention
Reading a book can help you improve your memory retention. This can be further improved when you discuss stories and teach other people your takeaways from the book you have read. How is this possible? Well, “every new memory you create forges new synapses (brain pathways), and strengthens existing ones, which assists in short-term memory recall as well as stabilizing moods”, Catherine Winter stated.
Better analytical thinking
People who love to read mystery have exercised their critical and analytical skills. Even more, people who have solved the mystery before ending the story have determined and carefully take note of the single details of the events in the story.
Enjoying the benefits of reading
Reading entails patience and diligence. The best part of reading is its process. Engage yourself in the story and learn new perspectives from different authors. Continuous learning is through reading. One day you will be surprised by what have you become because of building a habit of reading.
Are you overcommitted because you are afraid to say no? Learning to say no can mainly improve your productivity. How is this possible? Learning to say no on things or events that do not give an impact on your life can give you more time on things that you value the most. Maybe you are thinking that it may sound so rude, but you should learn to say no in a respectful manner.
It is not easy to say no when you are not sure about things that you matter the most. Plus, it is more difficult when you are experiencing social awkwardness and pressure when someone invites you. Here are some tips on how to say no gracefully.
Learning to say no with grace and respect
1. Separate the decision from the relationship
Sometimes you might be confused about the request because of the relationship you have with the requestor. Keep in mind when you refuse a request, you do not deny the person. You can always be honest with people you really know. Tell the person what you are up to and why you could not commit.
2. Do not say the word “no”
Various statements can be used to refuse an offer gracefully. Whenever someone offered you insurance or credit cards, you can say “thank you, but not today”. Also, you can say “I am flattered that you thought of me but I’m afraid I don’t have the bandwidth” or “I would very much like to but I’m overcommitted”.
3. Saying the soft “no’ (or the “no but”)
Random coffee invites are common. But sometimes there are instances when you are on the verge of finishing a project, studying for an exam or preparing for a presentation, you will more likely to refuse it because of what you are into, but you look forward to have it once you are done. You can say “I am consumed with preparing for my presentation right now but I would love to once I’m finished”.
Sometimes, the medium of invitation matters too. It is easy to say no when you are being invited through emails than in person because it is less awkward.
4. Saying “Yes. What should I deprioritize?”
If you are struggling saying no to the workloads being given to you by your boss, you can say “yes, I’m happy to make this but which among the workloads that you have given me should I deprioritize so that I can give my focus on this new work?” or “I would want to do a great job, and given my other commitments I wouldn’t be able to do a job I was proud of if I took this on.” The intention here is not to compromise the quality of your works that your boss expects from you. With this, you are emphasizing to your boss that you work on essential things.
5. Use the words ” You are welcome to X. I am willing to Y“.
If someone asks a favor if you can drive them but you are doing something, you can say “you are welcome to borrow my car. I am willing to make sure that my car keys are here for you”. This kind of construct expresses respect by giving the person a choice.
Remember that saying no does not mean you need to say no at all requests. This article helps you on how to refuse on nonessential things in order to give more time and effort to the things that you value most. Because whether you like it or not, we all have the same number of hours within the day. Learning to say no signifies that you are in control of your life.
When you are experiencing a lot of pressure due to work, take time to play because playing increases productivity. Let’s face it that playing is not only for children but it is applicable and beneficial for everyone.
Interestingly, the Brigham Young University conducted a study and found out that teams that played video games for 45 minutes were able to increase their productivity by 20%.
Apart from productivity, Stuart Brown, a founder of the National Institute for play revealed that playing can significantly improve one’s relationships, personal health, education, and organization’s ability to innovate.
How playing increases productivity?
Everyone thought that playing makes you childish and it will only make you unproductive for wasting time. I know most of you are already curious about how come playing increases productivity. Here are some explanations how playing is essential to an individual’s life.
Play generates more ideas
Through playing, your minds will be open and will broaden your perspectives. It increases your ability to innovate. “When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me and my talent for absorbing positive knowledge,” Albert Einstein stated.
Play unites team member
This is effective for employees who are doing team projects rather than individual works. That’s why team building is essential for big groups. But you do not have to spend more resources to conduct one. All you need to do is promote playtime in your workplaces that will enhance the team’s collaborative efforts. Through playing, individuals can determine their highest contribution to the group. Respectively, they can also assess one’s characteristics and skills.
Play is an antidote of stress
When you are stress, you can’t be productive. Give yourself a break and take to play. If you overworking, you are decreasing the ability of your brain to be creative and inquisitive. When you are relaxed, your brain can function well and you can do a lot more without compromising the quality of your work.
Play stimulates logical reasoning and unbound exploration
Isaac Newton discovered gravity when an apple fell while his mind was at play. Plus, double helix was discovered when Watson and Crick played with the possible shapes of the DNA. Even Einstein thought that experiments are brilliant examples of the mind invited to play.
It’s okay to play
No matter how old you are right now, playing is definitely fine. Do not be too hard on yourself. The leaders and CEOS of today believe that playing is essential in stimulating one’s creativity and exploration. Like any habits, when it is not controlled, it is harmful. Play responsibly and moderately.
They said that sleep is for lazy people and those who have lesser hours of sleep are hardworking. If you agree on this or even been triggered, this article is for you.
Overachievers and ambitious people do not love to sleep because they believe that they are more productive when they sleep at least 4-5 hours. But if you sleep less, you are compromising yourself. Thus, you won’t be able to achieve your goals. Keep in mind that the best asset that you have is yourself.
Damaging your health deteriorates your body, the instrument that you need in making the highest contribution. People in the executive team of various companies do not care if they lack sleep as long as they have done their work.
Sleep is not for lazy people, and most importantly, it is not for the weak. Why? Because it improves one’s productivity when you have at least 7-8 hours. Plus, it increases your problem-solving ability and creativity.
If you lack sleep, your immune system suffers and you are more vulnerable of getting sick. Not to mention, it is hard for you to think of ideas because you feel lightheaded. Due to sleep deprivation, your brain does not have enough oxygen.
According to Bill Clinton, the major mistake he had in his life was brought about by sleep deprivation. For sure, if you are arguing that you can survive with fewer hours of sleep, you are used to be tired always ,and having a full rest is unusual to you.
Respectively, a study of violinists, popularized as the 10,000-hour rule, revealed that better players spent more time practicing than the good students. As cited in the Book of Essentialism by Greg Mckeown, sleep is a significant factor that affects the performance of violinists. Best violinists have an average of 8.5 hours of sleep daily and they spent 2.8 hours napping in the afternoon. The author emphasized that sleep enabled the best performers to regenerate in order to practice with greater concentration.
As you obtain more hours of sleep, you can operate at your highest ability to contribute even in a short period. The sleep is for lazy people’s idea is already fading. Some industries promote to prioritize health, especially to get enough sleep. Similar to Google, one of the companies invested in the better-rested workforce, had prioritized the employees to recharge by allowing them to sleep in the pods. Google believes that nap time can boost one’s productivity.
You may be focusing to try the trivial many in the society and has forgotten the vital few. Being an essentialist will help you choose the path that matters most to you. Keep in mind that it’s not about doing a lot of things right but to do the right things. Today, you will learn why you need to focus on the small things in life rather than the numerous stuff like other people do. You will also be guided on how to become an essentialist.
The concept of essentialism focuses more on the things that you value the most. This idea was introduced by Greg Mckeown who also thought that he can please everyone and forgot what really matters to him. He had a turning point in his life, wherein he have to choose between his family and work. Unfortunately, he ended up frustrating the people around him. Like any other person, no matter how you strive, but if you end up doing the wrong decision, you will totally get doom.
If you got exhausted and unsatisfied with all the things that you are doing, this article is for you. It is not too late to learn how to re-evaluate the things that you pursue and to make your life better.
Pursuing the Life of an Essentialist
All you need to remember when you want to pursue the life of being an essentialist is the three E’s: Explore, eliminate, and execute.
1. Explore your priority
Pause for a while in your life and reflect what matters most. Assess what’s the most important among your priorities. Identify what is vital.
“We discover how even the many good opportunities we pursue often far less valuable than the few truly great ones,” Greg stated. When you understand this, you will able to identify what is the most important few than pursuing the trivial many. Being an essentialist entails to obtain more awareness that one has the ability to choose.
“The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years. Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities,” Greg emphasized.
2. Eliminate what is not important
Among the things that you are doing now, there are habits and commitments that are not important at all. Learn to weigh the benefits and costs whenever you made decisions in life. Sometimes even if you avoid the trade-offs, you can’t escape them no matter what.
As Greg suggested, it is important to plan things ahead of time. Give yourself a space to focus and think deeply of your week-long schedule ahead of time or things that are really vital for you. Evaluate the things that are okay to let go in order to give more time to the things that matter to you.
Sometimes people are too busy and have turned being hard on themselves. They forgot to assess how they did the past week. What’s more, they do not appreciate their previous achievements and been busy obtaining more even though it does not matter anymore. It is recommended to give your self a break, especially when things are getting more difficult for you. Even Bill Gates has a think week to allow himself to focus more. Do not allow yourself to do things without focus, quality is being compromised.
3. Execute
After exploring what you value and eliminating the unimportant matters, execute what you have chosen to pursue. Create routines, habits, and systems. Make things that are essential easy. In order to make it easy, make it attractive and obvious for you.
All of these ways are the key on how become an essentialist. To become one is not easy but it is possible. One thing that essentialism teaches everyone, is to have the best quality of life. One’s life is short. Do not waste it on things that do not matter. Give yourself time, your family the bonding and comfort they needed the most, and most especially, to pursue your purpose.
