Sometimes we become so cruel to ourselves when we commit mistakes. Without intentionally doing it, we often mutter negative words against ourselves when we make a mistake about something, sometimes even very insignificant mistakes that it isn’t really worth our time at all. But even if it is really a serious one, it’s always important to remember that this kind of impatience and punishment to one’s self can only make your distrust to your self worst and disturbing. In addition, it is also harmful to your psychology and to your self-esteem in general; a sense of disempowerment that negatively affects your emotional well-being, including your intuition and cognitive abilities. If you want to experience a life in its great essence, you need to be gentle to your self and process your growth in a caring and compassionate manner.
Being critical to our self is important but be sure to keep it in a balance state because our thoughts create our own realities. If we think we are not good enough, that we do not deserve enough, it will become our living manifestation. How can we achieve a sense of mastery to our life if we impair our own confidence and determination through our negative self-talks and complaints? How can we keep the motivation alive and work for our chosen purpose if we let this kind of self-sabotage surface and dominate our thinking? The best way to deal with our mistake is to accept them and then learn from them. In this way we are supporting ourselves and not wounding them. As humans, it is normal; we sometimes commit mistakes and make stupid decisions.
No person should justify this kind of treatment to one’s self. Instead of throwing up reasons why you think that way, you must try to gain more confidence for your willpower using the lesson from your mistakes. You must cultivate patience and try to ride the waves of emotion not by unconsciously acting out on them but by projecting on to the best results it can produce. We must always put in mind that there can never be defence whatsoever for this kind of mental self-impairment and it should be stopped for us to grow and be more responsible towards life. Negative words and self-blame does not really do any better than to excuse yourself from having a true sense of responsibility for your actions. It is not being honest with your self but being intolerant to your shortcomings and weaknesses.
As a normal rational being capable of looking within our mind, we all do self-examination. In this process, it is important that we need to be conscious so that we don’t bring further damage and hindrance to our individuation, as Carl Jung put it. Self-actualization takes so much time and energy and it is necessary for all of us to deeply understand our existence in this world and therefore have a determination to support and help our self and others. Blaming, belittling, and dismissing yourself in times of errors is a very unhealthy way to treat one’s self and no person deserves this. Responding to our failings, frustrations, guilt, dissatisfaction, and other kinds of so-called negative experiences and emotions needs mindfulness and it also needs gentleness just like how we respond when our friends commit simple mistakes unintentionally. Again, this is called self-compassion.
For deeper understanding about the impacts of negative self-talk, check this article: